Book, yes. More on that later. But first, a poem:
A Pleasure to Teach
Resistant and reluctant
But not (yet) a 'school refuser'.
In high distress each night at home
But in lessons 'well on track'.
The fears and worries all held in;
The walls opaque but eggshell-thin.
No help until you crack.
Internaliser, masker
Adept at staying beneath the radar
In panic mode each day you're there
With a quiet, compliant facade.
'A pleasure to teach' is a survival technique
In constant pursuit of the safety you seek.
No help. Things aren't that bad.
The system – with no will to act -
Remains oblivious to the impact,
The continual sense of shifting sands
From the way your past has been.
Words aren't enough, there must be deeds.
Obliged to tell and show your needs
No help until they're seen.
*****
I wrote this poem in 2022. It was the first poem I'd written in a LONG time, and the first time I'd written creatively about my frustrations with a system which doesn't seem to recognise that the quiet children, the ones who are 'a pleasure to teach' (a phrase over-used in my own school reports), may be experiencing distress just as much as the children who display their distress in more obvious ways.
The poem has since been used at a Scottish Attachment in Action conference, and by one of Scotland's Virtual School Head Teachers as part of their training materials.
Since I wrote this poem, I've embarked on a bigger writing project, which began as a series of notes-to-self while I tried to learn and understand more about fawning in children and how it's understood in the academic and clinical spheres as well as by those of us who've lived it. My notes expanded and became more complex, and after a while I started to think of them as a book.
As of April 2026, I have signed a contract with Routledge to publish the book.
It's (tentatively) called:
Developmental Trauma and Fawning: Understanding and supporting children who fawn
and it should be ready to publish in (tentatively) mid-2027.
note: this poem is subject to a CC-BY-NC-ND licence. You may copy or redistribute it in an unadapted form for non-commercial purposes as long is it is properly attributed. For other uses, please contact me.
